8 Reasons Why the Earth is a Torus

Recently there has been a sudden growth in the flat Earth movement. I was intrigued. I dug deep and what I found surprised me. It turns out they are right. The Earth is not a sphere. So why is it that they have not gotten recognition from the larger community? It’s because there argument is incomplete. They are missing one key piece. They believe the earth is flat, but through my research, I discovered that the Earth is actually… a torus. Here is the correct model of the solar system.


The torus is the Earth and the yellow thing is the sun. The sun orbits in a figure eight. You’ll notice there are no other planets and no moon. That’s because they don’t exist.

Ok, you might not believe me because you’re so indoctorated with the sphere Earth ideology. I’ll show you six reason, each sufficient on its own, that proves Earth is not a sphere.


They say earth is a sphere. What Else is a sphere? Balls. What do balls do? Bounce. Has the Earth ever bounced? No. Next.


They say earth is a sphere. Spher’s are smoothe. Mountains. Next.


They say Earth is a sphere because of gravity. Helium Balloons. Next.


Jesus. Next.


The only people who claim to have seen Earth as a sphere are astronauts. But are astronauts trustworthy? Lest look at the best, most trustworthy people in history. Jesus, the Buddha, Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr, Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Bill Gates, Steven Spielberg. The list goes on. Notice anything these people have in common? None of them are astronauts. Next.


The established model of our Solar System says that the Earth is a sphere but the Earth is not at the center of the Solar System. But you know what does have a center? Spheres. Fishy.



The evidence is clear. The Earth cannot be a sphere. So it seems pretty natural to conclude that the Earth is flat. That what the FE’s did. But they missed one key fact. If the Earth was flat then it would have an edge. But people are naturally not edgy. For example, the PC movement. Objectively the PC movement makes no sense until you realize that the PC movement is against edginess. Towards our nature of smoothness. Smoothness like a torus.

So how did I figure out that the Earth was a torus? It came down to 8 observations.


Donuts. Donuts make no sense. Why are they shaped like a torus? It would be much easier to just make them spheres. Why take the effort to cut out the holes and make them into toruses? It’s almost like toruses are in our nature. We have a natural tendency to make things into the shape of a torus. Additionally, people love donuts. But this makes no sense. Donuts are fried sugar bread. That’s gross. If someone offered you a piece of bread you would never say “Sure, but only if you fry it and then marinate it in sugar.” That would be fucking disgusting and everyone would think you were a repulsive moldy creep. Likely a rapist. Maybe even a fedora wearer. (Immediately after I wrote this I felt like I had copied it from some bit by Jim Gaffigan but I looked online for a while and couldn’t find anything. Oh well.) But everyone loves donuts. Why? Because they are torus shaped and we are naturally drawn to toruses. Because our Earth, the thing we come from, is a torus.


Continuing along the lines of the first point. People are also naturally drawn to holes. The greatest invention of all time. The wheel. Why is there a hole in it? We could have easily created the wheel as a sphere. But have you ever seen spherical wheels?

Image result for sphere wheels

No. Why? Because people naturally shape things with holes in them. People try to make things like toruses. Like our earth. Also, wells. For millions of years people have gotten their water, the most essential thing for life, by digging holes. Whys is this the case. Because we love holes. There are countless other examples. I’m not even going to talk about the relationship between holes and sex.


There are a fuck ton of asteroids in the solar system. So why is Earth not constantly bombarded by asteroids? It’s almost like there is a giant hole in the middle of earth for asteroids to go through.


Stars. They say stars are giant balls of burning gas light years away. But I don’t buy it. If stars are that far away then how come I can see them? I can barely see across the room. They say it is because they are so big. But if there existed balls that big completely made of fire, wouldn’t I be dead? Fishy. No. Actually there are no such thing as stars. What we think are stars are actually the lights of the cities across the world.


The same thing goes for planets. They are just really big cities. You might say no, that can’t be true. The planets and stars move. But actually, it is an illusion caused by the fact the sun moves and reflects differently off of them. You might also point out that stars are mentioned in old books like the bible before we had lighted cities. But are they actually mentioned?


The moon. This one stumped me for a while. But then I realized something. The moon is round. What else is round? Dumplings. Where are dumplings from? China. That’s when I figured it out. The moon is China. Or at least what we think is the moon, is China. Like the stars, it’s actually just a place on the other side of the Earth.torus-earth-moon.jpg


Underdeveloped countries. We know that all people are equal. So why are some countries more developed than others? This is a seeming contradiction. But it would make sense if some countries only had half as many days in history.torus-earth-moon-1.jpg

The underdeveloped countries are the countries that are on the outside of the torus. They have only had half as many days as developed countries. The outside parts of the top and bottom of the torus are the North and South poles.


The Bermuda Triangle. It’s known that planes and ships are always lost in the Bermuda Triangle. But this doesn’t make any sense at all. Why would things disappear in the ocean? Maybe because the Bermuda Triangle is not ocean at all. The Bermuda triangle is the hole in the center of the Earth. The hole is very big so it’s easy for stuff to get lost in it.


Many past civilizations have “figured out” that the Earth was a Sphere. They each measured the circumference of Earth. If the Earth was a sphere, each of these civilizations would have found the exact same circumference. They used math and math is exact so getting any different results already proves that it is not a sphere. But why did they actually get different answers? Because they were measuring the circumference of the torus from different angles. torus-earth-angles.jpg

So there you have it. Proof that the Earth is a torus. Remember to follow this blog. You know what they say, “People who don’t follow blogs are nothing but hollow logs.”


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